just saying things out

its been a while since i post somethng on this blog.
and i'm writing this time for the fact that i have to say things out
and i think that no one will actually read this,most imprtantly you.
i really want to talk to you abt this but i'm nt willing to disturb you,especially on your holidays.
rugi lah tgh holidays tapi bad mood kan.honestly,u've made me realize how bad i was as a bf.
i didnt do things as u expected me to.i didnt call u that much,i didnt text u that much,
especially during ur exams.i just thought that u might want to focus on ur studies and
communicating with u might be a distraction.and now i know that i was totally wrong.u wished that
i'll always be there for u but i didnt.but hey,i did wish u goodluck for each paper ur having and
i did keep myself updated with ur exams dates just like i promised you *comments kt gmbar u and mama*
but it was not enough kan?u expected more.i'm sorry for that.
i feel bad for u,being a rlationship with me.cause i'm always steps behind,way way behind.
the moment u were asking for the break up,i was seriously sad eventhough i saw it coming.i fell into tears
but sikit2 je lah.a cool macho kind of tears.haha.and it happened for a reason.because hours bfore,
u texted me and we were talking abt ur niece and what not.at that moment,i thought maybe we can change
things around and start all over again.get to know each other band i was abt to ask you out on that weekend,and i thought of buying you something.something for u.ur pick,something that will remind you of me.because kb and kl is quite a distance.plus i dont really know what should i get for u.but it was too hard for u i guess.u cant stand it anymore dah kot.
sorry fr nt inviting u to my house,its nt that i dont want to introduce u to my family cause i do.its just that
there were already 30 of my friends came by,and my parents didnt let me to invite some more.but i didnt invite any of my girl friends,cause i know that will hurt u even more.excuses,i know.but thngs happened.
oh and i really wish that i can meet those expectations of ur dream boy but i need chances,which
i think i wont be getting any.so hopefully u'll meet one someday,or someone even better.
and thank you for those great moments that we had together.at least i think we had.its a pleasure being with you,u've teach me a lot and i'll thank you again for that.have good holidays with ur families and frens,feel free to cntact me if you want to.i'm always available (: goodluck for ur results and ur future bachelor degree anwyay

p/s:i have more to say,but i'm out of words.and i'm nt writing this because i'm accepting the break up.
i dont want this,nt at all.i do wish u would give a second chance